WAT.

So I'm home again.
I'm extremely hungry, and having a second hangover day. Second hangover day today means my lungs are still a bit off, my blood circlulation as well, I'm feeling kinda tired and depressed, and regular foods and drinks don't appeal to me.
I should grab a shower to wash my past away <.<
I'll do that later, but as for now I'm just sitting and frowning in bed on my laptop.
I must admit I missed my PC loads.. My laptop doesn't pull off SWTOR very well. And I am loving that game.
Could be cause I'm new to realizing how much I love Sci-Fi.
I mean, I always thought I hated all Sci-Fi, and BSG was just an exception.. But the idea always appealed to me more and more. It seems so realistic and well done, to some degree.
I have never played many Sci-Fi-ish games. Halo being the only thing. I have a tendency to get obsessed with Sci-Fi topics though. Halo and BSG as my only examples.
Anyway, to me this game is like WoW with that little extra RP to your character, and a setting that appeals more to me than WoW. Fucking epic.
I expect an addiction incoming. I hope it doesn't affect school work too much.
I'll just have to put off weekends for this, and study my ass off on weekdays so I can chill all weekend through.
I think that's it for my World of Warcraft then. Subscription to be cancelled (of course, not permanently. I always come back.). Can't do 2 games now that I'm in school.
Anyway, I also feel like mentioning how much I love Nitro.. If he wasn't there yesterday, my hangover would be so much worse to deal with.
And yeah, strangely enough hangovers are really bad on my mentality. It's probably cause I struggle with panic attacks as a general thing, then your body naturally feel this sense of regret - many times without reason, and reasons tend to be exhaggerated.. So I am reminded of my general issues, and panic extra much.
Anyway, I hope today is a good day.
I'm supposed to go to a strip club with my ex. Not sure if it's gonna happen, haven't heard from him. Kinda hope it won't happen, I wouldn't mind a home day. Can go tomorrow or Sunday instead.
It's also really cold today, imo. Says it's 2 degrees atm.
Might just be my awful circulation though, making me freeze extra much.
I suppose I should fucking shower now.. Might wanna chill on other duties though, cause if I pressure myself too much today, I'll probably end up avoiding doing anything at all.. And that means stay in bed with laptop and whining! I miss my keyboard and PC too much for that to do me any good.

Ok............
Over and out.

P.S: Here is a spinach smiley. I found it very creepy to coincidentally appear on my plate. Especially since I was watching S1 of Dexter at that time, and the icetruck killer was spamming similar smileys as it was.

Oh shit, eh?

Super hangover.

So.. I went to visit my ex yesterday.. Not sure how it all happened, but before I knew I was WASTED on vodka..
I recall almost nothing, and this is officially the worst hangover I've ever had.
My head is pounding, it feels like I have to puke every second, I feel like half my brain isn't capable of thinking, the other half is only capable of feeling pain <.<
I pretty much still feel drunk.. I recall waking up 3 hours ago, thinking the same.. I went back to bed to avoid this.. I think I've been sleeping for quite some time now, and I feel fucked still..
Anyway, my only memories of yesterday are: Watched some Game of Thrones.... Died?? Drank lots of vodka.. Had sex.. That's right -.-
Exes + vodka are like poison to the brain... Always leads to something.
Ok, can't type anymore, too wasted to push these buttons.

Kay.

So.. I woke up today with "binge pain".. So not only was the alcohol not as satysfying as I'd hoped, but it managed to screw me over for 2 days, rather than one.
Hope I've learned for next time, but it seems I've entered one of the many "bored of alcohol" phases at the right time. Last time I didn't take the oppotunity, now I shall.
It also seems the money spending is endless..
Today I figured I wanted to buy SWTOR.. So ofc I did.. Including extra GC, cuz limitations bug me.. I'd rather throw money out the window, than feel limited during the experience.
I also, ofc, had to go NE again on my priest. The overload of draeneis, and having 2 identical chars (cuz I've used all the good looks, so have to repeat 'em now) kinda got to me.. And the priest gear looks alot better on NE's.. Too bad I truly dislike that race. They look good, but they seem like horrible creatures. I cannot sympathize with that.
Anyway, time to chill with money again.. Already spent all savings I added the past 2 months. These damn savings are supposed to be there for emergency cases (car breaks, Nitro gets sick.. etc), not to enhance my expensive lifestyle.
But seeing as Denmark got cancelled, I think I haven't spent more than I had planned to spend for that trip.. Excluding speakers, but my old ones have been broken for 4 years now, so it was time. (The ones I bought were on sale).
So I'll calm the guilt down..
And yes, I have to find ways to calm guilt down, cause if I feel guilty / bad, I get an "all is lost, might as well take it even further" attitude (:

Not sure if I should study today.. I'm afraid of losing motivation, having quite a few new games in the picture.. But I also intended to keep to my regular schedule, and Monday is an off day on my regular schedule.
Decisions, decisions.. Life is tough, eh? :P
Suppose I should study.. Tomorrow it'll be even harder to make myself, cause I'll get consumed by a new MMORPG.. However, it's vacation. No stress.... right???????
Meh, guilt is consuming again. GG.
I think I'll screw my all or nothing attitude.. I'll read some on geography (from the online classes, provided by my school.. Repeating, basically). And that ought to be enough.. I know I'll feel half guilty, since I'm putting off the hardest subject, but something is better than nothing when it comes to studying on a "sick day".
Fuck my all or nothing attitude, really.. I'm such an idiot.

On another note, I finnished the second Pirates of the Caribbean 2 yesterday.. Haven't seen those movies in a while.. Basically the first right after it came out on DVD (Peppes filmdeal, I do miss it) and the second one, also after it came out on DVD.. So I had forgotten most of it.. Never saw the third one, so I'll do that today.
Johnny Depp is really awesome there. Not hot though.. Facial hair is always a big turn off. Same goes for Mr. Bloom.. But he's not always hot... He was a bit hot in Kingdom of Heaven, and extremely hot in Lord of the Rings. Not sure about other movies.. Sometimes he's hot, just cause I need a reason to force myself through boring movies (Example: Troy). So I push myself into enhancing his good sides.
Not saying he's not attractive, just saying he's not really my type when he's not hooked up in elven costumes.
Whereas Johnny Depp is usually always my type.. Unless he's simply too awesome to be viewed as an object of my desires (like in Pirates of the Carribean) :P
I'll now attempt to write some more in my native language.. My norwegian skills have never been awesome (I blame that on moving @ age 16, missing out on evolving my language to a more mature level).

Så, på tide å prøve.. Driver nå å registrerer en konto til SWTOR.
Okei, nå var det gjort..
Merker jeg skriver ganske mye saktere når jeg skriver på Norsk.. Vet ikke engang om jeg kan bruke ordet sånt, har det fra den Nederlanske versjonen av ordet.
Oh well, har ikke akkurat gått hardt inn for å være flink i Norsk.. Tror skole kommer til å hjelpe endel her, spesielt nå til høsten.. Skal nemlig ha Norsk da (:
Gruer meg til Nynorsk, det er virkelig en svak side jeg aldri har kommet meg over.
Menmen, historie var jo det og.. Og nå er det en av mine sterkere fag.
Men historie har og sine sider som hjelper.. F.eks, finnes det endel kule filmer som er basert på historiske events. Det hjelper en god del på motivasjonen, og til tider hvor jeg har hatt mye problemer med å interessere meg for et tema, har jeg prøvd å se en film som har med det å gjøre.. Det har som oftest hjulpet.
En gang (Romerriket), hadde det motsatt funksjon, men da var jeg og såpass heldig å finne en fin artikkel som hjalp meg med interessen..
Det finnes alltid en løsning :P

Æsj, altså.. Føler meg dehydrert i dag. Samtidig som lungefunksjonen fortsatt er påvirket av Lørdagen (alkohol dreper lungene mine mer enn noe annet, i hangover sammenheng).

Ga forresten ut linken til bloggen min for et par dager siden. Angrer det litt, men vet ikke om han har lest enda. Han har ihvertfall ikke nevnt det. Men lite skade han kan gjøre (vet ikke helt hvorfor jeg er såpass redd for å la folk se meg for den jeg er.. Er utrolig privat av meg når det kommer til sånne ting, ingen kjenner meg på ordentlig.. Har en maske for hver enkelt person)..

Anyway, på tide å gjøre noe annet.. Geo eller slack.. Who knows.
Legger ved enda et fint Hawaii bilde :) Så jeg kan se på det og smile, når jeg engang går igjennom hele bloggen min.

New.

Fuck it all.. I've decided not to restrict myself too much with alcohol. I should just keep it rather secretive, so no one invites me to parties, and I waste useless calories and precious time (and yes, it's hard for me to say no to an excuse to drink :P)..
And I'll keep it irregular.
As long as I'm losing weight, and otherwise living healthy, I suppose.
I also bought some new speakers today.. My old ones have been really fucked for years now. These are slightly better, twice the price :P Good old Norway -.-
But they're pretty awesome, and I'm glad not to have sound fall out all the time.. And have everything working well, and better sound ofc..
So, I'm starting to get some pretty solid stuff in my life now..
I'm really glad :)
Everything is working out better than I had hoped for a year back.
Over & Out.

On another note, I'm considering applying for Hawaii Pacific University. It might mean that all I can study is psychology, but I'll take what I can get.. My alternatives are law, psychology and psychiatry. I'll settle in order to live on Hawaii.
I've checked it abit out, and the first semester I probably have to find a way to fund myself. The rest Norway will assist with. I've also found a company that specializes in finding appartments for students of this University.. So as soon as I'm done with what I'm doing right now, I'll look into further planning of this.
Maybe I'll make my dreams come true.. Hawaii being one of the greatest ones.

Aloha.

Beer.

So..
There's a wintervacation @ my school.
I can't help but feel lost -.-
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
Catching up isn't gonna take me more than a day. That leaves me at 9 days of not knowing what to do. I don't wanna get too into World fo Warcraft, it'll just make me slightly addicted, so I still have to keep my gametime to a balanced level.. I don't really wanna get too much into any other games either.
I don't have many other hobbies.
But in the end I think I'm just whiny because I miss beer.. It helps break up the week, and now that I have a lot of sparetime, more than 70% of my motivation to cut down has been lost.
So now I'm in a bit of a rebel mode.. Where everything angers me and bores me even more. At this point I kinda wish I didn't cut out all "friends".. But then again, what fun could they offer me.. Usually expensive and time wasting activities...
I think I'm really pessimistic atm..
I said I'd allow myself something nice this weekend, so I allowed myself some chocolate.. Now I feel "ok, if I'm not gonna do 1200 calories, might as well drink beeeeeeeer"
:<
Fuckdizshit

Waddup.

So.. Today I haven't had enough sleep! Went to bed between 3-4 (with 4 as the aimed timing to fall asleep), but started coughing again.. So was probably up 'til 5 or 6. I'm unsure, I didn't really check the clock so I wouldn't be bound to my negative attitude the following day.. "Only had 4 hours of sleep, whinewhine" etc :P
Woke up around 10.45 or so.. Had a lecture at 12.10.
Almost fell asleep the whole lecture, but did manage to pay attention nevertheless.
When I was out of school though, my energy was boosted..
As I returned home, I noticed I had one fucking nosehair sticking out! So I paniced, and bought a machine.. Now I have removed 'em lolz..
I also bought 2 additional history books, and I'm extremely excited about them.. They're HUGE.. So much info that's being left out from the books we currently use. Plus, ofc, images.. And images can sometimes be helpful to remember certain aspects.
I'm gonna nerd around this weekend and read through the topics we've been through.
I think I'll follow the reading with books books. Aiming for a better grade in this subject.
I'm noticing I'm really passionate about learning, and now with these styled books, It's gonna be a lot easier. Their language is also much simpler, and my Norwegian isn't very evolved - to say the least. -.-
Anyway, life is looking pretty damn good.. I like my new haircolor (or more like my "old" one <.<), my keyboard pwns, my PC and laptop have finally been cleaned out a bit, my diet is going well, pushing people away is going pretty well too o.O, and money isn't looking so doom right now.
The house has been cleaned and meh :P I'm not really missing anything in my life..

Socially I have some new things to discuss.
My ex contacted me again (not sure if I mentioned it before), and wanted to hang out this Friday.. I'm having mixed feelings about it. Mostly cause I've always felt a friendship between us is rather awkward. He's sometimes alot to handle, cause he treats me as when we were together, but we're not.. So why should I put up with the bads? Also, it's sometimes weird to communicate with him. I like him alot as a person, but there's a lot of mixed feelings there. And in general, he's rather draining (well, everyone is, that's not something he is especially).. I don't wanna spend my time on this just to do it.. I mean, I can game at home, in more comfortable surroundings. And if all we do is chat once or twice, and then he showing off some progress in his own gaming, then it's a little boring.
Either way, I'm probably the fault of this myself.. I don't make a move to change this at all, I probably give out the impression that I prefer it that way. And truth is, I don't mind.. I just wish he'd pay me more attention, without me having to ask.. Or maybe that we could start off by going out together or doing a certain activity. Spending the night is a little much, since we keep cutting off contact and then contacting each other again.

Also it's this girl's birthday today.. The one I kinda "care" about and wish to be friends with. I don't know what to do.. Should I buy her a present? What should I buy her? I mean, if she's having a party, I'm not really invited.. Or maybe she isn't? I'm very confused about where we stand.. I might have to come up with a little something to buy, just to show I care. But NO FUCKING CLUE what.

Also, Kenneth wants to hang out tomorrow.. Don't think I feel like it. Last weekend was so awesome, I don't know if I wanna mess with it.. Just chillaxing at home, doing some homework, playing some games, watching movies.. Shutting the world off entirely! Only thing missing is alcohol.. If it wasn't for those damn hangovers -.-

Anyway, gotta cook now.. Pasta with a sauce from scratch :D

Excuses.

So, I just feel like using my keyboard.. Considering how little I chat, or use my computer for anything constructive (browsing and gaming would be all I do), I barely get a chance to use it :P
So I figured I'd make a "morning" entry.
First and foremost, yesterday went fine.. I dyed my hair, and weirdly enough barely anything got washed off.. The floor was almost clear the entire time, which is uncommon. Normally the floor is soaked in water with the color I dye it in.. The results ended up extreme and satysfying, so inspite of the differences in color, I don't need to redye.
I'll take care of it in 2 weeks, which is a guideline to how often I dye my hair :P
Out of all the deformed parts of my body, my hair isn't one of them.. It's pretty unbreakable, and always ends up looking really great.
I had an odd dream where I met my crush from junior high school, and he liked me back :P After 10 years or so, awesuuum.. I wasn't interested in him anymore, though, but I kept thinking that'd mean that in 10 years I'll have my current crush -.- lolz.
After that me, my ex crush and some people from Holland - where I all of a sudden lived again (under Mariet's roof and all, good times.. I messed that up!) - went off to destroy the ring -.-
Voldemort was on our side, and Sauron was chasing us.. Luckily Voldemort had some tricks up his sleeve, and has also previously worked with Sauron, so we managed to throw him a bit off.. Atleast until we somehow got discovered. So we stopped time, moved the building a bit, and rearranged the area (during the frozen time moment) a bit for battle.. After this I woke up, and BAM It was 14.45 ish -.-
I had alarm on at 12.00, and once again it hadn't woken me up.. Something must be wrongzies?
I went to bed around 2, laid in bed for hours, couldn't sleep 'til around 5.. Mostly cause I was coughing alot, stupid "aftershake".. Also woke up around 9, with the same problem. I managed to eventuelly go back to sleep, after putting Nitro next to me in bed :P I was a bit afraid of ghosts -.- So his presence made me feel safe.
So shameful to admit these strange things. I act really tough and unbreakable amongst others, yet I'm immature enough to fear ghosts when it's dark :D
Just for the record, that only happens if I don't get enough sleep ^_^
I also have lost a 1,3kg since Monday. So for now things are looking up.
Today I have planned: Read through some pages in my history book, read through old PP's, read through the long article, read through the short article.. I think I might leave it at that, since that's alot of reading as it is.. I hope it will help me get a general overview and understanding of a very boring topic :P
Tomorrow I'll be a bit off schedule again then, since I'll have to prioritize PP's from Gym + 1 chapter, and PP from SS + 1 chapter.. So geography get's left out. I'll fit it in this weekend sometime.. Or tomorrow if I can find the time and energy.
Oh well, over and out.