Wisdom.

So.. Today I feel a little wiser, but also strung out.
It was the first day of school, and I felt extremely tense and worried.
I had my first class at 12.10, which is really early for me.. But due to my dayrythm, I hadn't slept more than 4-5 hours of bad sleep. Woke up at 8, feeling wide awake.
But a good amount of time in the morning never hurts.
I got to shower, eat slowly, drink something (not water though, due to time and money issues :< )
and then I did 3 BG's, I believe.
School was scary on the social aspect of things. I tried not to stare at anyone and avoid eye contact, once it happened, and some girl smiled to me.. I had the weirdest return smile, then I looked away -.- I feel so awkward being "social" while sober.
Learned a bit.. Took some great notes, and had a relatively interesting time.
The commitment, dayrythm and social anxiety is going to complicated this for me, but I hope it goes well. I do wanna learn and I'll enjoy it alot if I can.
I feel emotional, but I try to seek comfort in those little things..
Nitro, PVP, Cecilia & Sami, My iPhone, Good movies, The future etc..
I just hope I won't have too many problems.. Like the car breaks being fucked, hope it won't be too pricy. I'll have to find a way to make it work.. Smoke less maybe, spend less on food definately. No more meat except taco night which can be Friday or Saturday.
Noodles for hangover nights.
Stick to pizza, "brokkoli grateng", Springrolls w/ rice & wok, Onion soup, Occasional pasta dish etc.
It can be cheap, healthy and filling. I need to get back on my diet as soon as the money rolls in.. Today I feel so unhealthy, all I have been eating is oversalted noodles with tabasco lately :P
I did grab an apple, but only 2 left, so I wanna save them for school situations, where I'll need it.

WISHLIST:
-That I get economical assistance for school books.. Kinda awkward and impractical being without.
-That the car problems won't be too expensive.
-That the economy issues calm down.
-That I am able to afford winter tires, the oil leak fix and all my bills. I believe economical worries will really sabotage my already big issues with the commitment of social anxiety and bad sleep patterns (school).
-To be able to afford eating healthy again.
-That I manage to pay back Kenneth & Cecilia without jepordizing my economical situation.
-To afford bringing water to school - since I have those tap water problems -.-
-That my mom truly does shapen up and does as she's supposed to.. It's like she's a totally different person when she's with him. I liked her more while she lived with my alcoholic aunt. -.-